Birthday Trauma
by Divine Champion
Summary: The Core is secured, and humanity is saved. But for some, it is a bittersweet victory. And for one in particular, it's an ironic twist of fate. She remembers her birthday at last, but it's the darkest day for her.


**Champion of the Divine Sun here with a promised one-shot. I promised you guys that you'd receive a story on Alexandra's birthday. In a way, it's fourteen years early, but who has that kind of patience?**

 **I plan on doing a story involving Alexandra and the other six girls mentioned in 'Belphegor's Songbird.' But that alone is rather rough in terms of planning. That, and I have a story to complete. But, I digress.**

 **Anyway, I hope you enjoy.**

 **Disclaimer: I only own Alexandra, Victor, and the six remaining girls.**

* * *

 _ **I was born on December 21, 2031.**_

It's only been a few days after the recovery of the Lifehold Core. While everyone was celebrating their victory over the Ganglion, a handful of people were somber, and one in particular was very cold and distant.

Amaterasu was sitting down on her bed, sleep evading her once again. It had been avoiding her ever since she got here, but that's not the point.

 _ **I had forgotten my birthday for almost twenty years.**_

When she felt the plasma go over her head, she almost panicked due to some painful memories, but forced them down because her team needed her.

 _ **But my subconscious remembered.**_

Her memories of her time on Earth had been returning over the months, forcing the wolf to see not only to see the ugly truth, but also who _-what-_ she was.

She was nothing but a demon trapped in the shell of a scarred "human" girl.

 _ **My mother's final gift was her resolve and humility.**_

Now that she thought about it, those bastards did do something for her birthday. If you wish to count drinking poison as a gift.

She would've died from that, hadn't she'd been convinced to fight back.

The other girls died in a way their object would've had, minus the reaper. She died under different circumstances.

 ** _The winter's solstice._**

The flower and weaver were burned alive.

The chef was starved to death. Those monsters had locked her in, leaving her trapped in her room.

The hoarder was dismembered.

And the mirror suffered blunt force trauma, just enough to turn her into a pile of flesh.

Amaterasu felt another part of her break as she looked back on the dark memory.

It almost felt like… she really was dying, but desperately trying to live.

"You can do this, Amaterasu. You've spent only three months on this planet, and saved humanity. You can do it."

 _ **Darkness had claimed me the moment I came into existence.**_

As a little subject, she began to build a tolerance to the poisons those people were giving her. They wanted to kill her. And they were so desperate that they pumped her full of every fatal poison that existed.

They were ineffective.

 _ **I really am a demon.**_

Many people believe that she was always innocent and naive. She wished to be that. She shakily stood up and headed towards the full-length mirror in the corner of her room.

It was another kind of poison to her. One she couldn't get rid of, even if she tried.

The girl reflected had the same skin tone, but that was it.

The reflection's red-tipped light silvery hair was dyed brown and was ended at her waist as opposed the shoulder.

Her usual BLADE Wear was replaced with the robes of a judge. The reflection's right hand was in a fist, like she was supposed to hold something. But it was the eyes that really sold it. Instead of the bright, life-giving, golden yellow irises she held, it was a lifeless blue.

Humanity was saved by a demon.

"The irony." She muttered under her breath.

 _ **I was irreparably damaged.**_

During her imprisonment, there was a particular tea they continuously served her. Belladonna tea. The effects it had on her, besides nearing death, weren't nice. At one point, they considered using cyanide as a trial, but they didn't. Perhaps it was another way to taunt her with the idea of death.

It was during the course of her imprisonment that she grew fairly close with the other girls. But one in particular caught her attention. But she always thought that it was the way that girl was treated. Now she wasn't so sure.

 _ **But he took care of me. Protected me like how an older sibling would to their younger sibling.**_

"Hey." A voice called out. In the mirror, Amaterasu could see Victor against the doorway. He was somber, and she knew why. He was in the battle, too. "How are you feeling?"

How was she was feeling? She couldn't tell anymore.

She was relieved because the Core was saved. She was upset because she had to fight Lao. The etherblade felt heavier at the mere thought.

Most of all, she was terrified of herself. During the battle, she noticed that she was using a lot more ether. She had seen the effects of it on flesh and blood indigens. And some humans, unfortunately.

Solan had once told her that her mimeosome had an almost unnaturally high tolerance of ether, to the point that other mimeosomes would shut down from the high intake. High enough for the consciousness to be fried permanently. Every mimeosome was the same, with slight differences, depending on who was inside.

But, hers was designed to literally be an ether sponge, absorbing as much as she was able to before using it as a weapon. But, to use life as a weapon felt wrong.

 _ **And when I woke up, I felt free for the first time.**_

Amaterasu could smell something sweet being baked. "Cake?" She asked. Her golden eyes looked at the male Pathfinder before her with an almost childish look. Her eye color glitched to a deep blue before returning to its golden hue. But only Victor saw it, and knew why it happened. A small smile appeared on his face.

"Yeah, Lin's making it for you. Twenty-five, right?" He was affectionate in a brotherly manner. Amaterasu could only stare at him, feeling tears beginning to form. She blinked them back.

 _ **But I was scared because I was on my own. At least, until we found each other again.**_

A few months ago, she couldn't even remember her real name. And when the traitors began to show themselves, her memories started to return. At first, she only had Victor to rely on.

"Y-Yeah. That's right. I can't believe you remembered." She sounded tired and weak.

"Why wouldn't I? I know you better than anyone else. But, you know that you have grown close to these people, both human and xeno. Why not celebrate your birthday with them?"

She was silent for a few moments before saying, "Because I haven't properly celebrated it since I was five. Ever since _that_ day, the only thing _they_ did to remind me was giving me a poisonous tea. And that would be the only poison they'd give." The faraway look in her eyes told Victor that she was reminiscing on her dark past.

He looked down at the hallway to make sure that no one could hear the question he was about to ask. It was clear.

"Do you miss the girls?" The question was out, and Amaterasu was quick to answer.

"Of course, I do. Especially Lily."

"Amaterasu, what do you think the others would do if they were here?"

That question caught her off guard. What would they do, indeed? An angrier, repressed part of her believed that they would've attacked every human, punishing them for ignoring them by inflicting the tortures they themselves endured. She didn't know why, but she could tell that that's what would've happened.

' _But… What if they lost their memories like me?'_

In that case, they would've been in the city, experiencing a way of life that they were ripped from. Perhaps, even joining BLADE like her.

"I… I don't know, to be honest," she responded quietly.

 _ **But even with him, I was alone. None of the people that I knew best were in the city.**_

"Well, I think that they would've celebrated your birthday properly, with all of your friends." Victor's mismatched eyes were warm and friendly, and he smiled sheepishly.

"You planned this in secret, didn't you?" Amaterasu's question made him smile, which proved her right. She shook her head in disbelief before chuckling. "You're such a dork, you know." She walked towards him in order to leave her room.

"So are you. According to H.B, at least."

"Shut up."

Amaterasu glared at him, but the way her cheeks turned red provided some truth to that statement.

The two Pathfinders headed for the main room, where all of their friends were waiting.

 _ **And when I met them, I began to grow close to each to them, regardless of their species.**_

Somehow, just seeing them waiting was enough for her inner demons to quiet down. Amaterasu decided to let go of her worries just for tonight.

Even though a part of her knew that it was a good thing to forget all of the bad things that had happened to her, she also knew that her past will catch up to her eventually. And it could put her and her friends in danger, but she was always willing to lay down her life for them.

 _ **The only thing I wish for now is to be with my friends for as long as I'm able to.**_

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 **This story takes place between Chapter 12 and Belphegor's Songbird.**


End file.
